Telefon...

Japanese Table Tennis

Listen, Listen, Listen...

Kekejaman AES...

I-phone

    Hanya orang lama sahaja yang memahami erti gambar ini...

























Gambar diambil dari spectangle.net

Mengenali komputer anda

Cuba buat ni:-

Buka notepad.
Copy ni
CreateObject("SAPI.SpVoice").Speak"I love YOU"

Tekan File,->save as->Filename: 1 love you.vbs->Save as type, pilih All Files.

Tutup. Klik balik dan dengar suara.

Sekiranya anda mendengar suara lelaki maka komputer anda ialah jantan.
Manakala suara yang didengar adalah perempuan maka dengan pasti komputer anda adalah betina.
Namun seandainya anda tidak dapat mengecam suara tersebut maka kemungkinan besar komputer anda ialah jenis hermafrodit

Selamat berkenalan dengan komputer anda...

Kita serupa

Nasib kita serupa...

Ah Beng...

Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

*********************************************

Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

***********************************************

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he
answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah - but
instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it
to my ear, lah" "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..
what happened to the other ear ?"
Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"

*********************************************

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei
AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE

*********************************************

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for
quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a
friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN
FOR 4-7 YRS".

************************************************

Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed Lah !

***********************************************

Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Be ng : "I'll buy it"
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask
Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

*******************************************************

After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

Once upon a time...

There was once a hat-seller who passed by a forest on his way back from the market. The weather was very hot and so he decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side.

A few hours later, he woke up by some sounds. The next thing he realized was that all his hats was gone. He heard some monkeys on the tree and so he looked up. To his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.

The hat-seller sits down and think of how he can get the hats down. He think and think and start scratching his head. The next moment, he realized that the monkeys were doing the same action.

Next, he took down his own hat and saw the monkeys do exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and throw it on the floor and the monkeys do that too.
So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Jack, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.

One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest, it was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and realized that the monkeys had taken all the hats. He remembered his grand father's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys follows.

He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, JACK threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still hold on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said

"You think only you have a grandfather".

Kisah arab badwi

Pada suatu pagi, seorang Arab Badwi membawa sepuluh ekor keldai ke pasar untuk dijual..

Oleh kerana perjalanan agak jauh, dia keletihan lalu menunggang salah seekor keldainya.. sampai di pertengahan jalan, dia membilangnya. Alangkah terkejutnya dia mendapati hanya ada sembilan ekor sahaja..

Arab badwi itu tidak berpuas hati lalu turun daripada keldainya..

Dia membilang lagi keldainya, Memang pelik.. Cukup pulak sepuluh ekor..

Begitulah seterusnya.. semasa dia menunggang hanya ada sembilan ekor sahaja.. Apabila dia turun terus jadi sepuluh ekor.. Dia berasa pelik & hairan dengan kejadian itu.

Setelah sampai ke pasar, dia menceritakan kejadian pelik & aneh itu kepada orang ramai..

Semua orang di pasar tergelak besar mendengar cerita si Arab Badwi itu.

Lalu salah seorang mereka berkata sambil tergelak..

"Hairan-hairan.. sungguh hairan.. sesungguhnya aku nampak ada sebelas ekor keldai. Hahaha"



Soalan:

Dari manakah datangnya keldai yang kesebelas itu..?

Bimbang memandu

Mengapa ahli matematik agak bimbang untuk memandu kereta di jalanraya?

Menurut mereka kelebaran jalanraya berbanding panjang adalah boleh diabaikan.

Masalah

Mengapa buku matematik tak pernah gembira?

Biasa la.... Tak habis-habis dengan masalah.

Masalah, masalah

Matematik Moden

Dalam kes ini diajar bagaimana:-

25/5=14?

14X5=25?

14+14+14+14+14=25?

Saksikan pengalaman ini...




Masih boleh tersenyum?

Kambing hitam dan putih

Seorang gembala sedang menggembalakan biri-birinya yang berbulu hitam dan berbulu putih. Dia kemudian didatangi seorang pemuda lalu bertanya:

Pemuda : "Baguskah ternakan biri-biri engkau. Boleh tak
saya tanya beberapa soalan?"
Gembala : "Oh, boleh saja"

Pemuda : "Berapa jauh biri-biri ni berjalan setiap hari?"
Gembala : "Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?"

Pemuda : "Yang putih"
Gembala :"Ah, yang putih berjalan lebih kurang enam kilometer setiap hari"

Pemuda : "Dan yang hitam?"
Gembala : "Yang hitam pun sama."

Pemuda : "Dan berapa banyak rumput mereka makan setiap hari?"
Gembala : "Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?"

Pemuda : "Yang putih."
Gembala : "Ah, yang putih makan lebih kurang empat kilo rumput setiap hari."

Pemuda : "Dan yang hitam?"
Gembala : "Yang hitam pun sama."

Pemuda : "Dan berapa banyak bulu yang mereka hasilkan setiap tahun?"
Gembala : "Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?"

Pemuda : "Yang putih."
Gembala : "Aaa...menurut perkiraan saya, yang putih menghasilkan sekitar enam kilo bulu setiap tahun kalau mereka dicukur."

Pemuda : "Dan yang hitam?"
Gembala : "Yang hitam pun sama."

Pemuda : (Dengan perasaan geram ) "Kenapa engkau membezakan biri-biri engkau yang putih dengan yang hitam setiap kali nak jawab soalan saya, padahal jawapan semuanya sama saja"
Gembala :"Mestilah saya beza-bezakan sebab biri-biri yang putih itu adalah milik saya."

Pemuda : "Ooo, begitu, fahamlah saya,kalau yang hitam tu pulak siapa punya?"
Gembala : "Yang hitam pun sama, saya punya juga"

Pemuda : (benggang, geleng kepala dan berlalu)

Saintis

Seorang saintis ingin membuat kajian tentang seekor katak,dia pun mengambil seekor katak dan menguji lompatan katak tersebut, ujikaji pertama dijalankan oleh saintis tersebut, saintis itu meletakkan katak dan menyebut "LOMPAT!" kemudian katak itu melompat 4 kaki jauh.

Saintis itu menulis dalam buku ujikaji nye :katak 4 kaki,lompat 4 kaki jauh. Kemudian saintis memotong 2 kaki katak dan menyebut "LOMPAT!" Katak melompat 2 kaki jauh.Kemudian dia menulis :katak 2 kaki,lompat 2 kaki jauh.

Kemudian saintis memotong lagi 2 kaki katak dan dia menyebut "LOMPAT!" Katak tidak melompat, kemudian dia menyuruh lagi katak tersebut lompat tetapi katak tidak melompat, dan dia pun menulis dalam buku ujikaji nye :katak tak ada kaki, mengalami masalah pendengaran...